MEN ARE SCARED OF MARRIAGE
You are in love with this girl, madly and it’s been a year. One fine day she starts talking about weddings and babies and you freak out. The result, arguments and may be a breakup. Over the years, we (men) have never been able to explain to you (women), what scares us about marriage. I am trying here and hope it helps. Am I saying we will never marry? May be for some of us (Sorry), but for the rest of us who will despite all these reasons, we just request you (women) to give us time to get over all of this.
P.S: Women, no offence meant. It’s all in good humour and honesty.
No explanations, no arguments, no counseling required. The term scares the hell out of us. We are NEVER ready for it. Period
Most of us like our relationships the way they are. Marriage brings about a serious change in our lives. In 24 hours everything changes, from the side of the bed we sleep in to that toilet seat we leave open after pooping. Everything changes and we hate that.
WE LOVE YOU
Most of the women think their men do not want to commit because they don’t love them. That is not true. We love our girls. That’s why we are serious about the relationship, right? But why does a marriage have to define how serious we are? We love you with or without the ring. Shouldn’t that be enough for the time? At least give us some time to think, be ready.
Will I be able to do this? Am I good enough for her? What if I fail? What if she leaves me? What if I can’t make this work? These are some of the questions that bombard us and drown us in a tsunami of self doubt. You can’t blame us for this now, can you?
ALL THOSE JOKES
Married men’s mobiles and status updates are filled with jokes about how wives are dominating and have made their lives miserable. It could all be in good humour and nothing serious. But, it scares the hell out of us (unmarried guys) and drags us back from popping the question to our girls.
LOSS OF BACHELORHOOD
If it was in our hands we would never let it go. We love our carefree, bachelor lives. Those late night beer parties and playing games on our X-box in boxers for hours gives us a sense of liberty. Also, we can flirt with anyone we want and can get out of a relationship if it’s too taxing. How do we do that with a marriage? You get out of a relationship, you are still a bachelor. You get out of a marriage and you are a divorcee. Bam! No, we cannot do it. Sorry.
This is our biggest enemy. Yesterday I was this ‘guy’ who horsed around at work and didn’t give a damn about spending an insane amount of money over a pair of socks for all I care. But, with marriage, that stops. Now, suddenly I am told that I have to take care of myself and my ‘wife’. I have to SAVE for the future and for the ‘family’.
What future? We do not think about the future at all. The nearest we get to the future is, what movie we will watch with our girlfriend or at whose apartment we will sleep in the coming weekend. That’s it!
ROMANCE WILL DISAPPEAR
Teasing our girls, taking them out, pampering them. Those things are priceless. Now with marriage and the ‘added responsibility’, we feel that the romance will fizz away. We fear we will lose that crazy, carefree girl we fell head-over-heels for, because she may turn into a cranky wife. We have seen our girl friends losing their individualities and careers after marriage and we don’t want that for you, seriously!
We love children. Honestly, we do. But, we are usually not the kinds who want to nibble their toes the moment we see them. And we usually only love the kids of our family. We NEVER get a ‘fatherly feeling’ when we look at kids. We never think of having kids. First, because we are scared that we will forget or drop it somewhere and you will kill us. Second, the added responsibility it brings. Baby food, baby clothes, baby’s school fees equals added expense resulting into added money and added STRESS. And third, JUST NO! It changes everything between the couple. A tiny little thing looking at us with dreamy eyes and calling us ‘Daddy’, okay Run!
I also know that women too are scared of some or most of these points. But, they manage to make their peace with things easily. Men take time. We only implore you to keep patience. We will pop the question. After all, what is the world without you.